Happy Anniversary

Happy Anniversary to my husband. I love you! It’s been a great two years and a great 8ish before that!


All these years later and the little things still drive me crazy! (candy wrappers, stinky feet, hair in the sink, soda cans) But they are so worth all the great things you do. (love notes, vitamins, packing lunch, going to the store, waking me up)

I have said it before and I still feel it – we have a great thing! Sometimes we are off our game and things seem a little off but I always love you more than anything else! I love you and love everything you do for me!

I can’t wait for the rest of our life together my love!  Happy Anniversary!!



I sure do love that guy!! All his silly antics and his stinky ole socks included!

How many years have you been married? How’s married life?


Filter or no filter

I met Matt in 2003. At the time, the teenager was a cute chubby little 6yr old ball of fun. Like most children, she had no filter on her conversations. I sure did love that kid though and was quickly falling for her daddy too.

She's actually 9 in this picture..I didn't have a digital camera yet when I met her at 6yr old!

One particular day as we were all sitting around the house, that cute little squishy face asked me “When are you and my daddy gonna get married? “Was this adorable? Yes! Was it awkward as I sat there wide eyed, mouth agape trying to come up with an appropiate answer for a 7yr old? YES!!! I had only known Matt for a mere 4-5 months and I think marriage was the last thing on my mind. (His too considering we didn’t wed for 7 more years!)
I think Matt was appalled that she would even ask this question and for sure thought he would never see me again, what with my running for the hills and all. LOL!
I love kids though and have been around them my entire life and I know their minds and was in no way offended. It was awkward though! 
Another wonderful time with little squishy face, involved her bringing up the dreaded “ex”. Oh yes my friends, this little ball of joy brought up the ex in such a manner that it was awkward for all involved. She simply wanted to know if her daddy remembered the time they did this with “her” and it caused complete silence to ensue. I’m no silly jealous girl though and wasn’t bothered by it all. I wasn’t silly enough to think Matt had no ex’s and that this little cutie had never had another woman in her life. 

Me and the Teen years ago. (She made us get matching shirts!)

What is it about kids that cause them to say the worst things at the worst moment? We think they have no idea, but is this actually true. It seems more like they DO know exactly what they are doing and just like to see adults squirm!
All these years later that little squishy kid has grown into a beautiful teenager and guess what?? Still no filter! I cringe sometimes when we are conversing with strangers.
I sure do love her though with all my heart and soul, filter or no filter.
So tell me, do you kids have a filter? If so, how did you install it? If not, tell me about an awkward moment in time.
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What do you think about on 9/11?

I guess the common answer these days to that questions would be: The World Trade Center attacks, a loved one lost, America, New York and maybe even fears of a repeat attack of some kind.

My answer is a bit different. While I do think of most of those things on that day, I think mostly about my own lost loved one. She didn’t die on 9/11 but was born on 9/11. I think of her so much on this day. How old she would be, what would she have looked like, who would she have grown to be, how close would we be and how would my family and myself be different if she were still with us?

I have been thinking of her on this day for 23 years. Although my thoughts changed 19yrs ago when my first thought was that she would be 5 today. NOw, in 2011, she would be 23 years old. A grown woman in the world, my family and my friend. I miss her still, her hugs, her smiles, her little voice singing a song.

I was 12 years old when she died, I was an awkward kid trying to get through my days. My life was about school, friends, boys and hanging out. Death was a slap in the face, especially when it was such a tiny little person so close to my heart. It was hard for my 12yr old brain to grasp.

I remember very clearly coming home from school and seeing my mothers car in the driveway. (this was weird because she worked and didn’t get home until 7ish, was home after school with my dad) Both of my parents were in the bedroom talking in hushed tones so I filled a bowl with puffy Cheetos and sat at the table for my after school snack. I remember taking a bite of one of those Cheetos as my parents walked out to tell me about the car accident my Aunt was in with the babies on board. It was explained to me that my Aunt was very hurt as was my cousin. She was in a coma with no brain activity. I don’t remember the words or phrases they used, I only remember that cheeto still in my mouth and I had no idea what to do with it as it turned to mush.

The following days are still a blur. I only remember bits and pieces. I remember the wake and the open casket (I never should have looked) and I remember staring for so long that I thought she was breathing, I remember rumors flew at school in my absence that I slit my wrists, I remember how small my other cousins were and how much less they understood than I , I remember a Thanksgiving right after where my grandfathers voice cracked in saying the prayer (I had never seen or heard him cry before) and I remember how I changed as person.

These are all things I think about during the year but I think of everything on September 11th, the day of her birth. It’s still hard and I tear up every 9/11 but for different reasons than most of America.

We miss you and we love you Mikki!

Beautiful Girl!

What do you think of on 9/11? What does this day mean to you?

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Thoughts of a step-child

I am a step-daughter, a step-grand daughter, a step niece and a step cousin. Yeah I guess that’s the title some would use when referring to what I am.

I did not know my bio-logical father or his family. They all disappeared from my life when I was 3 and my tiny little person mind has no recollection of these people.

My mother remarried when I was 7 and thus marked me as a step. But what does this mean really? Nothing much in my mind or my world. I was never once made to feel as if I was not a regular member of my new fathers family. For as long as I can remember, my dad is my dad and my gram is my gram and my cousins are my cousins and my aunts and uncles are just that….aunts and uncles. I refer to them all as such and none of them ever have the prefix of “step”. They are all my family and I love them just like the family on my mother’s side that I have known since birth.

In my adult life I also became a step mother. The teenager is not biologically mine, however, she might as well be. I love her as if she were my own, I protect her as if she were my own and would give my life for her as if she were my own. I don’t see where there is much of a difference in a step family and a biological family besides the shared blood line, and I have seen those that share blood be more cruel and hateful to each other than any of my so-called “step” family.

The reason for this post I guess is because I wanted to get some things down and out of my head. My Gram died this weekend and even though she was my step-grandmother, I know my heart feels as if I lost a grandmother and in my reality, I did. I lost my grandmother, my actual grandmother. I haven’t seen her since early this year and I missed her before but I really miss her a lot now, it’s a different type of miss. It’s funny how that works, you have no idea how much you miss someone until you know you will never see them again.

I didn’t spend as much time with her when she was here as I should have or would have liked to. We learn lessons in life and even tell ourselves that life is short and we never know what can happen and that we should be with loved ones and live life to its fullest and of course follow my husband’s blueberry muffin theory on life and I know I try, and I am sure everyone tries but the daily grind of life sometimes makes it difficult as we fool ourselves into thinking that we are too busy or that we will make time for sure this weekend.

So to my grandmother, the one who loved me regardless of our bloodline and never treated me differently than her other grandchildren – I am sorry we were not as close the past few years.  I thank you for being so wonderful over the years and for all the love and kindness you gave me. I never felt like anything other than another one of the grandkids. I miss you and I love you.

Do any of you have step family? Are they as wonderful as mine? Any words of wisdom? Please share with us.

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50 Years of Love

That’s a picture of my grandparents on their wedding day. They recently celebrated 50 years of marriage! 50 years!

That seems like such a huge number when you think about it in terms of marriage. It seems like the value of a marriage has gone down as time goes by.

You hear of divorce more frequently now than ever before and it’s looked at much differently as well. It used to be shamful if you were divorced or getting divorced. Some people and places even shunned those who were divorced. Today, we have divorce or freedom parties!

What a difference time makes.

I like to think that I try my hardest to model my relationship after my grandparents who have been together all this time. I’m sure they have hit a bumpy road or 12 but I never heard about it or saw any evidence of it. I only see love and admiration.

Don’t get me wrong, I do believe in divorce in certain instances of course but I feel like so many people just give up. Marriage is a full time job and you are usually required to work pretty hard at it. People change so much and so many times throughout their lives and I’m sure some of those changes can cause strain on a relationship but giving up should never be an option.

My beautiful grandparents stil look at each other with the same love in their eyes as they did 50 years ago.

I’m quite proud to say that my grandparents celebrated a 50th wedding anniversary. I’m proud of them and amazed by their love. We love you Granny and Gramps and congratulations again on a wonderful and happy marriage! Here’s to many more years of love!

How long have you been married? Are you divorced? What is the longest marriage of someone you know?

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The Chase

I met Matt in 2003. I was 22 , almost 23 years old. I lived at home with my parents at that time and would come to Matt’s house to hang out.

Matt has always been very protective of his family, the neighborhood and the neighbors.

About a month after we met we were hanging out at night and Matt was painting parts of my car for me in “cool” colors so we were outside near the garage. All of a sudden we hear a couple banging noises coming from the neighbor’s house and Matt ran over and saw that there was a van of kids throwing eggs at the neighbor’s house and cars. He told me to jump in the car and we took off after them at full speed. And I mean full speed, with screeching tires and a little fish tailing too!

I had never been with anyone quite like Matt before. He was into guns, tattoos, fast cars, chasing people down and high-speed chases! I had never been on a high-speed car chase but here I was, part of one!

There’s nothing quite like the smell of burning rubber and lust. This guy was so HOT! I think I caught a whiff of love in the air that night too.  

It was fun, exciting, and exhilarating really! It was one of things that I loved about him! It was so different from anything I had ever experienced with any other boys I had dated. We ended up chasing this van for about 15 mins and reported them to police. It felt good! We were able to call the police and report the vandalism. The kids ended up coming back with their parents to apologize! That part was funny!

Matt’s favorite part about the night was that I went straight home and told my mom all about it. I couldn’t wait! My mom was horrified! She thought it was reckless and dangerous. “What if they had a gun?” she said. “It’s OK mom”, I told her. “Matt keeps a gun in the glove box of the car!” Oh my! It was like I told her he was an ex-con or something! My parents are not pro-gun people. She was not pleased that my brand new boyfriend, who she had not even met, took me on a car chase with a gun in the car!!

Perhaps it was the glow in my face, or the light in my eyes, but my mom put the incident behind her and eventually met my future husband and despite the danger, and the tattoos, and the intimidating appearance, she liked him too.

Over the years we have had multiple adventures both scary and exciting but I think we wil both remember this one forever!

Tell us about an adventure with your partner.

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Trauma at the golden arches

So this is the replay of a typical trip with the family to the McDonald’s drive-thru growing up.

This was a trip myself and my three siblings looked forward to. I’m still not sure what it is about McDonald’s food that makes it so exciting to kids, but it sure was ! Mom, Dad and us four kids would pile into the Country Squire and head to the drive-thru. My dad wasn’t a huge fan of eating inside (we were pretty destructive) but we were ok with the drive-thru. We were still getting McDonald’s !

The trip should have been more organized…maybe with a list made at home of what to order but that idea is only in retrospect. In reality, we would tell my dad what we wanted as he approached the microphone. This is roughly how that went :

Welcome to McDonald’s may I take your order ?

Me : I want a cheeseburger meal !

Sibling #1 : I want a chicken nugget happy meal !

Dad : Can I get a chicken nugget and a cheeseburger happy….

Me : No, a cheeseburger meal !

Sibling #2 : I want a cheeseburger happy meal !

Dad : Ok, no…one cheeseburger happy meal…

Sibling #3 : I want a cheese burger happy meal too !!

Dad : Two…three…no two cheeseburger happy meals…

Mom : I want a chicken sandwich meal with a vanilla shake.

All siblings : I want a shake too !

Dad : No shakes !…one chicken nugget happy meal…did I already ask for hamburger happy meals ?

McDonald’s : I’ve got cheeseburger, did you want hamburger ?

Dad : Yes.

Siblings #2 & #3 : Nooooo ! cheeseburger !!

Dad : Ok, no hamburger, cheeseburger…

McDonald’s : Excuse me ?

Mom : Don’t forget the shake.

Dad : (frustrated) Ahhhh Fuhggett it !! (Boston accent)

Dad would then drive away frustrated without getting anything and told us “You’ll have a sandwich when we get home!”. I hoped he was joking and would drive back around and decide to just go inside. The taste of McDonald’s was already in my mouth. No. I watched as the golden arches got smaller and smaller out the back window. I would indeed resort to a sandwich. Three crying siblings saying “I want a haaaaaappy meeeeeeal” all the way home. Boy was I mad at them. I was sure they ruined it because they didn’t know how to handle the drive-thru with dad. I swore that when I was old enough to drive that I would go there all the time ! But when that time came I realized that I had no idea what made it so exciting. It was traumatic at the time for me but now its pretty funny. Although I can still see those arches getting smaller…and smaller…

Sadness and Trama of not getting a Happy Meal

(Written by Matt)

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Why did the chicken cross the road ?…

…We’re not quite sure exactly why. Perhaps it was to seek shelter. Maybe he was lost and sensed that our house was animal friendly. Or it may have been just to add one more oddity to our strange, surprise filled day to day lives.

It was the beginning of August 2004 and hurricane Charley was on his way. Suddenly a fully grown chicken showed up at the front door. This wouldn’t be so odd maybe if we lived in a farm area but we live in a completely residential area. Dogs and cats show up from time to time, some even spend the night but this was the first chicken. We had no idea where he came from but he was friendly and was comfortable around people. We spent some time with him and  then tried to send him on his way…but he wasn’t going anywhere.

With a major hurricane having its nasty eye set on our area, we couldn’t let this chicken roam the streets. We wanted to make sure he survived the storm so we made a place for him in our enclosed back porch where “he” layed an egg! We aren’t sure why we stinll continue to call him a he, but we do! During his stay with us we decided to have a little fun. Matt’s sister had a bedroom that had been described as looking like a “clothes bomb” had gone off in it. While she was out we introduced the chicken to her room. The chicken seemed to really enjoy her room and the comfort of the soft nest like clothes bomb. As the chicken nestled in and made himself right at home we carefully placed a hidden video camera in the room.(This video has not been located)

It should be mentioned, that Matt’s sister had not yet met the chicken so she was unaware that we had a chicken at the house. With that in mind, we felt that the last thing she would expect to encounter in her room would be a chicken…or a goat…but we only had a chicken at the time.

A short time later she arrived home. We were pretty excited for the anticipated “meeting”. She went into her room and all was quiet for a few minutes. This “clothes bomb” was quite widespread so it was very possible that a chicken (or a goat) may not be noticed right away. But then it came…the moment we were waiting for…a blood curdling scream unmatched by any horror movie. We also heard inaudible  words (and possible expicitives) amongst the screams.

She quickly emerged from her room with tears in her eyes and sheer terror in her face. She was greeted by several of us laughing so hard that we too shed tears. She said in a terrified tone : “Whaaaat was thaaaaat!?”. We told her, quite simply, that it was a chicken. Nearly crying she replied “Whyyy…why is there a chicken in there ???”. We explained to her why the chicken was visiting and that he was only in her room to get the reaction we had just enjoyed. When we went in to congratulate the chicken on a job well done, I’m pretty sure there was a mischievous  smile on his little chicken face. He fit in so well.

As much as we would have loved to keep the chicken, after the storm passed we found him a home on an actual farm with other chickens and goats, but he had a good time and was pretty much treated like royalty during his stay with us. So maybe this chicken crossed the road to make some friends, some memories and to do some things that most chickens don’t get to do.

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