I am a step-daughter, a step-grand daughter, a step niece and a step cousin. Yeah I guess that’s the title some would use when referring to what I am.
I did not know my bio-logical father or his family. They all disappeared from my life when I was 3 and my tiny little person mind has no recollection of these people.
My mother remarried when I was 7 and thus marked me as a step. But what does this mean really? Nothing much in my mind or my world. I was never once made to feel as if I was not a regular member of my new fathers family. For as long as I can remember, my dad is my dad and my gram is my gram and my cousins are my cousins and my aunts and uncles are just that….aunts and uncles. I refer to them all as such and none of them ever have the prefix of “step”. They are all my family and I love them just like the family on my mother’s side that I have known since birth.
In my adult life I also became a step mother. The teenager is not biologically mine, however, she might as well be. I love her as if she were my own, I protect her as if she were my own and would give my life for her as if she were my own. I don’t see where there is much of a difference in a step family and a biological family besides the shared blood line, and I have seen those that share blood be more cruel and hateful to each other than any of my so-called “step” family.
The reason for this post I guess is because I wanted to get some things down and out of my head. My Gram died this weekend and even though she was my step-grandmother, I know my heart feels as if I lost a grandmother and in my reality, I did. I lost my grandmother, my actual grandmother. I haven’t seen her since early this year and I missed her before but I really miss her a lot now, it’s a different type of miss. It’s funny how that works, you have no idea how much you miss someone until you know you will never see them again.
I didn’t spend as much time with her when she was here as I should have or would have liked to. We learn lessons in life and even tell ourselves that life is short and we never know what can happen and that we should be with loved ones and live life to its fullest and of course follow my husband’s blueberry muffin theory on life and I know I try, and I am sure everyone tries but the daily grind of life sometimes makes it difficult as we fool ourselves into thinking that we are too busy or that we will make time for sure this weekend.
So to my grandmother, the one who loved me regardless of our bloodline and never treated me differently than her other grandchildren – I am sorry we were not as close the past few years. I thank you for being so wonderful over the years and for all the love and kindness you gave me. I never felt like anything other than another one of the grandkids. I miss you and I love you.
Do any of you have step family? Are they as wonderful as mine? Any words of wisdom? Please share with us.
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